The Hunting Stories Podcast
Elk. Bear. Hog. Turkey. Deer and More. Hunting Stories that will make you laugh or maybe cry; real life chronicles from the field.
The Hunting Stories Podcast
Ep 127 The Hunting Stories Podcast: Ryan Burnett
Picture the hilarity of a practical joke gone wrong, now imagine it involving a gun with some creatively inappropriate artwork. That's just one of the many laugh-out-loud tales shared by Ryan Burnett, a former Marine and avid hunter, on this episode of the Hunting Stories Podcast. Ryan takes us through his journey from the verdant woods outside Seattle to the sun-kissed beaches of Hawaii and California, recounting his escapades with fellow Marines during unforgettable hunting trips. From the camaraderie of shared misadventures to the thrill of the unpredictable outdoors, Ryan's stories embody the spirit of a hunting campfire gathering—authentic, humorous, and definitely unfiltered.
Ryan's Instagram
Pattern Pro's Instagram
https://www.patternprosusa.com/
🔭 Upgrade Your View with Vortex Optics! Experience unparalleled clarity and precision with our top-of-the-line binoculars, scopes, and more. Check out our full range at VortexOptics.com
Visit SummitBowstrings.com or call 210-701-7399 to gear up with the best. Summit Bowstrings – where excellence and innovation meet in every string.
USE CODE: HSP10
Christensen Arms
Christensen Arms makes the best hunting and long-range rifles in the world. Made in the USA.
Howdy folks and welcome to the hunting stories podcast. I'm your host, michael, and, as usual, guys, you know it, we got a good one for you today. Today we're actually connecting with Ryan Burnett. Ryan reached out to me and said man, I got some stories for you, I'd love to connect, and we did, and, man, he did not disappoint. He gave me an episode I've been waiting for, which is basically just a Hunting guy telling a bunch of stories about his hunting buddies and the terrible things that have happened to them, the follies that have happened in the woods. So this is exactly up my alley. So, that being said, I have gotten some comments recently, some like Spotify comments and things people saying they love the podcast but they do want to know when it gets a little explicit. Please keep a note I do mark explicit when the episodes are explicit and, as you can imagine, this episode being about a Marine and his two Marine buddies, you know it goes a little, you know it gets a little dirtier than some of the other episodes and you know what I appreciate Ryan for doing that, because I want every hunter to tell their stories the way that they would in camp, and this is exactly what I've been looking for. So, ryan, thank you for coming on To you listeners.
Speaker 2:Thank you guys for tuning in. If you're listening with little kids, maybe go to a different one. Thank you, guys so much. Let's let Ryan tell you some of his stories. Thank you All. Right, ryan. Welcome to the Hunting Stories Podcast. Brother, how are you? I'm doing? Excellent, it's not killing me to do it, you know what?
Speaker 1:I've heard people in worse situations than yourself, so it doesn't sound like you're too bad man. Yeah, well they're on camera.
Speaker 2:They're just never at the right camera when I'm. That's yeah, that's always fun, that's too funny. I had. I told you I had a bad elk hunt this year and I just chose that over a kansas whitetail hunt with my buddy um that owns like 200 acres out there and he's just sending me giant deer every, every weekend. I'm like damn it, man stop. I'm not like just save them until next year I'll be there, yeah yeah, that's, that's the way it goes.
Speaker 1:It's like they're never, you're never in the right spot at the right time, or anytime. We go to our buddy Brody's house in Duck Hunt, it is the day after we leave. He limits out Like we'll shoot, we'll be there for like five days and kill like 15 ducks maybe. And then we leave and he's like oh, I found them. And then the next morning him and his dad shoot Ten green heads in 30 minutes.
Speaker 2:Jesus. Yeah, that's just the way it goes, man, but let's do this real quick. I feel like we're going to just sort of dive into things and start talking forever, so we've got to stop and let you introduce yourself, so the folks know who they're hearing some stories from today.
Speaker 1:Yeah, ryan Burnett, originally from just outside of Seattle Washington, played college baseball and then joined the Marine Corps in 2013.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:I went to boot camp here in South Carolina, Parris Island, my last two years of college ball. I was in Ohio, so that's where I enlisted at. So I went to the wonderful Parris Island and I'm meeting my wife actually like the day I graduated from the camp. That was like a good time. Stationed Hawaii for a few years and then to California, Came from my wife's four and a half years or whatever it was. That's actually where I got a chance to get back in hunting. I wasn't raised hunting at all, Me neither yeah.
Speaker 1:I just always was like interested in it. I was raised fishing so I kind of started to get myself into it. And then when I went to school in Ohio really got me dove head first. I mean, every month of May he was from the area, so it was like everything. It was ducks, deer turkey. That's awesome Squirrels, like everything so did.
Speaker 2:He have that long history and family tradition of hunting and he just took you under his wing, pun intended, and just went out of it.
Speaker 1:His dad was like hoisting him into the tree. Stand like with a ring.
Speaker 2:When he's too little to climb.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, that's what I got. So then when I got stationed in California, camp Pendleton is 128,000 acres so it's huge so you can hunt a lot on base. Yeah, deer, deer, hunt, duck, um, quail, doves, squirrel rabbits and all kinds of stuff, coyote, and so met a couple guys and it was great because I started to really get back into it and and I got, uh, so I was a grunt, um, I was in infantry. Uh, right after I back from my last appointment, I went to a unit. I was, I was a instructor and just like a set where I was talking.
Speaker 2:Did you put your nuts on my drum? Is that where we're going with this one A nut set and a drum set.
Speaker 1:Time to play Moby Dick for real.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And we were sitting there cleaning weapons and I said something about duck decoys. My brother-in-law got me my first 12-pack or 6-pack or whatever it was decoys. First 12 pack or six pack or whatever it was decoys. And my you know, now buddy kind of looks over at me, like you, you duck hunt. And I say, yeah, I'm like dude, I duck hunt like less than a mile right here, and so he's from just outside of, uh, tulsa, oklahoma.
Speaker 1:yeah, yeah seriously, it was just like that it was like uh, I don't remember what time of the year it was, but that next season me, him and then another one of our buddies started. Mostly, me and him started duck hunting every single weekend. We could.
Speaker 2:That's awesome.
Speaker 1:On base or at one of the refuges. That was about an hour and a half away and it was like, all right, like we had a fun year fallen year, got things, some more things figured out, and uh. And then we met, uh, christian he was our business partner and Christian's two daughters my two daughters are like identical ages Uh. And then our, their, our wives, became best friends.
Speaker 1:so then it was kind of like, yeah, we're makes it easy yeah and so our first, our first little, you know, shindig, to really set off the cluster of hunting stories and adventures. It was me, brody, and our buddy Brad Christian, me Brody and our other buddy, brad Christian, wasn't there yet, okay, and we hiked I don't know how many miles back into this place. That butted up to base where I had seen some really good deer and it hadn't rained in months and so there's really deep pockets of water that like on rock beds that Joel sit there. I was like we're going to go over those and we're going to fricking kill, like we're going to kill something. Yeah, I was like it was, cause it's the same thing on base where I'd seen a bunch of deer.
Speaker 1:And once you know that, it absolutely opened up on us that night and just pissed on us for like I don't know like six hours and just pissed on us for like I don't know like six hours, didn't see a deer the whole next day. The next morning we got up and it was like dude, like this, like that. We hiked out of there and I was like well, that sucked. So that was kind of like the prelude to our wonderful, terrible adventures. So the next year I had done some research, I was like let's go to a different zone and we are going to like that's got a better success rate than that one, cause you can only get one deer on base.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:Um how many zones are there?
Speaker 2:on base, I guess.
Speaker 1:There's just one, just one on base.
Speaker 2:Okay, so you're leaving base for then, for there's just one on base. Okay, so you're leaving base then for this next time.
Speaker 1:Yeah, Okay, and so it was like we had to drive like six hours north. Somebody had kind of given me like, hey, check out this general area. Well, it was like we need to go scouting so the weekend before the opener, so this zone opens, rifle opens like beginning of august okay that's hot as hell in in central california.
Speaker 1:So we're up there okay yeah, and so we scout it. And it's me, christian, and our buddy, brad. Uh, brody missed out on this. Yeah, he missed out on this. Yeah, he missed out on this adventure, which was terrible.
Speaker 2:Maybe good for him. Oh, it was great for him, yeah.
Speaker 1:So we start hiking up this dry creek bed. Oh, we're making good time, like looking on the map like this looks awesome. Well, we come to this like 20-foot waterfall, it's dry and I was like, well, shit, so the you know, one side is straight up, the other side is like loose shale and I was like we're going to try and figure out what I think we can get up there. So I'm like I start making my way up, but you got to pick how you're getting up there. And I am standing essentially on top of a bush, because it's like the only solid points around and christian's kind of starting to to come up behind me and I'm like telling them like hey, like go different direction, like cut right. I I made a mistake, but I'm.
Speaker 1:I'm making my way and brad yells at me from the bottom dude, burnett, do you have those baby wipes? I said yeah, they're in my pack, but I cannot reach them. Like there's no way, I can't move. And I can just hear it in his voice like oh, okay. So I just like utter disappointment, utter disappointment. Christian makes his way, I make my way up and then come over to the top of the waterfall. I look down and Brad had his old. He was out of the Marine Corps. This time he had his old cami bottoms on and he had cut the pocket off of the camis to wipe his ass. We've all been there.
Speaker 2:We've all been there the pocket off of the off of the camis to wipe his ass. Yeah, okay, we've all been there. We've all been there.
Speaker 1:And it was like so Christian takes some great pictures of Brad taking a shit just directly over, just just doing Marine things. So then I'm like, well, do you still need the baby wipes? He goes, yes, and I go to throw in the baby wipes. And I have a great video and where it's like all he had to do was take like two steps back. But I think he's just in just like sheer disappointment with life and the decisions that have led him to this point.
Speaker 1:Yeah, he just lets him go right right over his head and just they just smashed into the rocks like everything's fine, but it was just like the look on his face like Like I hate my life.
Speaker 2:I was worried they were going to land right in his new mess man, oh geez.
Speaker 1:Oh, no, no, no, that was. He did that at the very base of the waterfall.
Speaker 2:Uh, that's funny.
Speaker 1:So for the next, you know he comes up and for the next, like I don't know how many hours, we an absolute wall of dry brush. That was like probably eight foot tall and it's miserable. And we get all the top and you know we haven't seen anything and it's hot. By this point we're all just fricking, dying. I was like we're not going to the top and I was like I'm not going back the way we came. So for the next, like I don't know 500 yards, we slide on our asses down this freaking ravine all the way back to the bottom and like you're getting kind of smoked by this point, well, we make it all the way back to the waterfall and it's like I don't think we can make it. I don't think we can make it down because if you slip on that stuff it's a soft, you know, 20 foot drop onto some wonderful rocks.
Speaker 1:And I was, I was kind of defeated at this point. I was, I was smoked, and so we try and go up and around. That doesn't happen. And brad looks me, goes. Dude, I'll go first make her. Like he makes her his way down. He literally just tosses his pack, it tumbles to like 40 yards down and then just slams into the rock below, but he doesn't have any government issued stuff in his pack anymore. I have a government issued pack. I'm like I can't do that, yeah, and I was like this is bad, um, so finally get to the bottom and we have another like mile and a half to get back to the truck and my body shuts down when I get in the truck and Christian is essentially ODing on energy drinks to get us back to Brad's house, which is like five hours away.
Speaker 2:And.
Speaker 1:I'm like my body won't, I can't move and he's still pissed off me to this day. I was like dude, I tried I could not Like something. Just like I was like dude, I I tried, I could not like something in my body was like you're done just push it too hard or didn't have like good, like food, with you, or just make sure of everything. The heat every. It was just everything, yeah, and I was like, honestly, I was like dude, probably most people probably would have died at that point, uh, yeah, I was like.
Speaker 1:I was like the marine corps does a lot of terrible things and I was like the one good thing it does is like you're probably just gonna figure out how to not die. Yeah, and that's a good starting point at least that was one of those moments, and so now they always give me hell like oh, burnett's gonna get his loss, and I was like I knew right where we were the entire time. You know, we just couldn't quite get needed to in a time um that's too funny, man so, uh, yeah, that was.
Speaker 2:That was a rough one uh, yeah, yeah, you reminded me your friend. So my I. This year I drew a cow moose tag and if you listen to my episode, that's like my recap of my archery season. There's a little tidbitbit where we shot the moose the night before. Next morning we go in, we find the moose, chop it up, pack everything out. What do you do when you need to go back and get more? Is you take everything out of your bag that you think you don't need and you're like all I'm going to do is walk up there, grab this moose and then come back. I don't need any of this shit.
Speaker 2:So of course, I took the teepee and the wipes out of my bag, oh no, and so we're like halfway up it's probably two and a half miles or something like that, nothing crazy, but straight uphill. And I'm like, no, I can hold it, I can hold. It Turns out I can't hold it. When I'm hiking uphill Right, I was like nope, nope, this isn't happening. And so I dive offering at my boys you guys got any TP? They're like, nope, we ain't got nothing. And so my buddy, robin, this British fellow. He's a hilarious man, but he finds moss and he's determined that I wipe my ass with a handful of moss. And I'm like, no, I'm not going to use your moss, robin, stay where you are.
Speaker 2:I ended up, fortunately, I had boxer briefs and then a Sitka base layer and then some pants on, so I just ripped apart. I mean, it was. It was not that easy. It's like it was a struggle. I didn't want to take off my pants, my boots, my underlayer, all this stuff. So I'm trying to rip my boxer briefs off and I'm like, just like I can't get the band to break and I'm just like struggling through the. I did eventually get it cleaned up, the. You know the mess that I had made and went about packing that moose out. But it reminds me. I mean, I think every hunter has got that story where they're like shit, literally Right.
Speaker 1:I don't, yeah, like. My rule now is I carry, I always have baby wipes, but I have baby wipes in my like behind my backseat in the truck, yeah, behind my backseat in my truck.
Speaker 2:They I will always have, and not much of the time in my back, yeah, I believe that everyone has made that mistake once and that's why they're prepared that way now because now, yeah, I got two options in my bag and I'm not going to take them out. I got three options in my truck now, but I had to make that mistake. So maybe think about it. Maybe you had that moment in history back in the day.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I don't mess with it. I will always have water and I will always have baby wipes. I was like I'm not going to die first and I was like I'm going to wipe my eyes.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you're not going to die of mud butt.
Speaker 1:So those are my two bugaboos.
Speaker 2:Okay, well, good on you, man. Good on you, better than most of us.
Speaker 1:Yes, yeah, everything else I can deal with, I'll be fine. Yeah, just yeah, that was kind of our. So then the next weekend it was me and Christian Brown. Well, we know where we're going. Yeah, we parked in the same spot. We just went the complete opposite direction. We went through, for you know a day and a half or so, all we got, I think Christian got a shot off a deer and whiffed I was putting pressure on the trigger. Due to that, brady went to go pull the trigger and as he pulled up, his bolt handle got caught just a little bit so it went click. So it wasn't seated all the way. So that was. I was like it was just yeah.
Speaker 2:Um, that's interesting. I had a buddy this, this rifle hunt that I just told you about. That was a bad time. One person got his eyes on a cow Maybe it was a calf, we're not going to worry about that Cause. Uh he, he went up, pulled his rifle up and went click. So I'm wondering if maybe something had caught his. You know, who knows, who knows, who knows why it didn't fire. He fired 10 rounds before and 10 rounds after, but for whatever reason, that one round did not go off.
Speaker 1:Yeah, if it's not seated, perfect, it will not shoot most of the time. It's funny because now I'm like that's a lesson that he learned that I'm taking advantage of, because I'm like if I'm sitting on the sand, I will sit there and just push on it, yeah, just to make sure it's seated. Solid advice, solid advice. Well, yeah, so that was. Uh. There was a couple of adventures where it's just like a prelude to friendship, where it's like we're going to have a good time and we're going to return. It's not a shit, but there's going to give each other a bunch of shit. There's going to be something that happens pretty much every single trip. That is awful. It's usually not to all of us, but it's like to one person, christian. We went to Brady's house in Oklahoma two years ago for Christian. We went to Brady's house in Oklahoma two years ago for five days of duck hunting. One of the days Brady got caught, so he dropped us off Super early in the morning. I was off the river. His kids didn't have babysitting. His wife had to go. He had to watch the river. His kids didn't have babysitting. His wife had to go. He had to watch the kids. We're going to sit there and we're going to hold it. Well, we killed one first thing in the morning, didn't take it off safe. We're going to sit there.
Speaker 1:Christian's starting to feel like crap. He's fine, we're sitting there, but it's like you know, it's like 20 degrees. So you got to get up there and kind of walk around. Well, he, every time we start walking he just feels like absolute shit. Well, we probably got like, I don't know, only maybe three quarters of a mile total walk to where Brody can pick us up in the truck. We get there and he is bent over, dying, clearly sick. So when we get back to Brody's house, he just doesn't unload anything, he just goes straight into the shower. Well, notoriously he has dumped cold-ass water on me in the shower Numerous times.
Speaker 2:Okay, so I look at Brody and I was like dumped cold ass water on me in the shower numerous times, okay and so I look at Brody.
Speaker 1:I was like I'm getting him back right now you are a dick and I love it to your sick friend because the last time he had picked his lock the lock at his house I was at his house in North Carolina. He picked the lock into his bathroom to get cold ass, waterass water in the shower. I was like dude, I locked the door and everything. He goes. Dude, my kids have locked themselves in that door in that room. I don't know how many times I'm professional at picking it. That's funny. So I was like I got this big-ass bowl, I put ice in there and everything. I was like Brady film it. Okay, I put ice in there and everything. I was like Brady film it Okay. So go in there, look back, like shit-eating grin on my face, pull back the the curtain and at first I don't see him what the hell. And I look and he's just about in the fetal position underneath the shower and I kind of had that like split second, like maybe I shouldn't do this, but then, but only a split second yeah, oh yeah.
Speaker 1:Then I was like screw this and dumped it on him and he just goes oh please, god, no. And I was like, I was like oh shit. I was like you know, I was like you feel that bad? Um, and it was, yeah, I put his body probably into shock, which was absolutely hilarious. It's completely worth it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, he probably laughs at it now, but God, I bet he was so angry.
Speaker 1:No, I think he's probably still pissed off at it, but whatever.
Speaker 2:It's all good, all right.
Speaker 1:He ended up having COVID, which was whatever, but like the next day, he didn't hunt. Like he's. Like I need to sleep in tomorrow. So, like me and Brody went hunting by ourselves the next day.
Speaker 2:That's crazy, like COVID. I got COVID twice. It never really affected me. I've been like one time I wouldn't even test it if I didn't know COVID was a thing.
Speaker 1:I was like I think I have a sore throat I'm not really sure. No, he was actually. I mean, I'm like whatever, it's just a flu, um. So he was actually sick, but it was like just that day and then he was fine after that. Um, I mean, it's not like we killed any freaking ducks, that trip anyway. So yeah, it's just the first couple days was okay and then we went to hell, um, but uh, I guess a little more insight as to our friendship. It was probably three years ago Went up to take the family up to Christian's house in North Carolina, and that's where his wife is from and her family's got a little farm and they've always got a bunch of geese so it was like one is more deer bear or anything.
Speaker 2:North carolina's got some big bear no, dude, it's like the only.
Speaker 1:It's like this small little, like it's surrounded by city, pretty much like okay, it gets some deer and some geese and then maybe maybe a few ducks, but so we're gonna go shoot some geese. So we, you know, we shoot some geese and maybe a few ducks, so we're going to go shoot some geese, so we shoot some geese, and then my wife has got to leave. She leaves before I do because she had come up a day late. She had a work thing. So she leaves Me and Christian go back, we clean the birds and then I leave. When I get home here in south carolina, I walk in the mud room and I see a gun case, a soft case with a, with a gun sticking out of it. I'm like, hey, where'd you get that? She goes, it was in my, it was in my car. I said, oh. So I call christian. I'm like, hey, you missed something. He goes, oh, probably. I'm like, where's your shotgun? He goes oh shit.
Speaker 1:And I'm like dude, like come down for turkey season. And I was like whatever, like it'll be in a month or two and come down for turkey season, no big deal, whatever. So I tell Brody this the next day, who worked for a gun company at the time? And he goes dude, send me his gun, I've got a stencil. I said, oh, worked for a gun company at the time and was goes dude, send me his gun, I've got a stencil. I said, oh, okay, um, and I, within the hour, I have taken apart his gun and you are allowed to send the pump and the staff because it's not serious. So the stencil is a bunch of dicks that just happen to be ejaculating at the time. Oh my, God.
Speaker 1:So Brody takes him to his work and does it I mean professionally cerakotes it um why does he have?
Speaker 2:this stencil? Why like is this just?
Speaker 1:like in hopes that someday he'll get to put a bunch of ejaculating dicks on someone, somebody else, I think somebody else said like was like dude, this would be funny, funny, and then nobody in their right mind would ever do that to their own gun. But when you get three Marines together it's notorious that somebody gets a dick drawn on it, so naturally it's going to be Christian's gun. So I send it to Brody, he does it, and a couple weeks later he gets it back to me put it together, and then Christian doesn't come to my house until I do so. It's like I've had it for months.
Speaker 2:And you probably forgot about it right.
Speaker 1:I was so excited. I was like this is going to be freaking legendary. This is going to be absolutely glorious. I cannot wait. Every day I'm thinking about it. And so he gets. They get here like late that night, like he puts the kids to bed, and I was like, hey, like stay in the kitchen, I'm going to go get your gun. He goes oh okay, we're with one phone. It's getting videoed. My wife's FaceTime and branding he's not like Christian was never clear. Yeah.
Speaker 2:Got all his eyes on him and he has no idea.
Speaker 1:So I hand him his gun and clearly he can tell it's been, you know, it's been painted. He goes, oh wow. And I was like, yeah, dude, I sent it to Brody. Because you sent it to Brody and I was like, yeah, like, look at it. He goes. Yeah, I know Like I'm like, look at it. He goes, yeah, I know it looks great. I said, no, look at it. And he goes. He pauses because it's like from just any kind of like, without thinking about it.
Speaker 2:It's upgraded.
Speaker 1:Whatever. And then he kind of like stops and looks at it a little bit closer and he goes oh, those are dicks. That's the perfect response. And it was like, oh, dude, it was, it was absolutely priceless. So he, he's got. You know, there's addiction all over it.
Speaker 2:So there's, there's a photo of just like the gun, not necessarily even with him in it, but just like a close-up of the Cerakote and all that. Oh yeah, of course Okay you got to send that to me. I want to share that. I will 100% send that. Okay, perfect.
Speaker 1:So there's three that are strategically placed. So there's one on the pump that is obviously directly underneath, coming back at him, there's one right where his right hand will go, and then there's one right where his cheek will go. Those are the three strategic. Everything else was kind of random, so at all times he's dealing with that, but that's also the. So he bought that. It was a. It's a Mossberg, uh, mossberg 500 or I think, or something like that. Um, or eight, 30. I don't remember. Anyways, he bought this from a Marine that was getting out that apparently just like, did, just wanted to get rid of it. And so he calls me one day and was like dude, I bought this gun. Uh, I'm like like, have you told brooke? And he goes no, I'm like, oh, okay, um, I'm like, how much you buy it for? He goes uh, 85 bucks. Uh, a monster and a bag of flaming hot cheetos. That's a hell of a deal even covered in dicks, that's a hell of a deal.
Speaker 1:Well, even coming in dicks, that's a hell of a deal.
Speaker 2:Well, yeah, this was obviously previous Pre-dick. Yeah, pre-dick.
Speaker 1:And I was like, oh, dude, that's an awesome deal. I was like you're never going to. I was like that's awesome and you know even with the dicks. Yeah, and I'm like there's literally that gun works completely fine, it fine, it shoots good, zero issues with it. I was like that is the best bargain gun you will have forever. Obviously, you can't necessarily pass that down to your kids, not anymore, they can't. No, no, no, not anymore. But yeah, so that's the Dick Gun. He has since upgraded to a Dick-free gun.
Speaker 2:How long did he use the dick gun?
Speaker 1:I mean, well, he still got it, but he used it probably for two seasons. I think, yeah, that's amazing. So, oh, yeah, anytime, anywhere. It was like, dude, you're doing this. Like we went and saw some buddies in Arkansas back in January and they'd seen pictures of it, but I was like, dude, you're, whether you're hunting with 20 guys. I was like you're bringing the dead guy. There's no, you can bring anytime you're going to hunt anywhere, just because it's a great conversation piece.
Speaker 2:That's amazing, man. Actually, while you were telling that story, I was like I think we made a terrible mistake, Ryan, and that is that we should have had you and all of your buddies on, because I'd love to hear everyone's opinions about, true, all these stories are and what they and you know, because I bet you guys are, I don't know a fucking hoot to be around man.
Speaker 1:Oh, it's nothing appropriate at all times. Oh, yeah, yeah, a lot of like. There's some things that are said in the marine corps. I was like damn like, no wonder we have a hard time adjusting back into into real life I'm like golly, I mean it's funny, but you're like damn, like no yeah you can't tell you guys, I can't say that to anybody else yeah, um, so they don't want to record that stuff, so I get it so no, no, no.
Speaker 1:That's when you're like oh, the group chat got leaked. Like time to fake your death and get out of the country.
Speaker 2:Yeah right.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's the kind of stuff that typically happens.
Speaker 2:And now we'll get into the story where he got matching tattoo to match his gun right.
Speaker 1:No, not yet, Not yet. Okay, no, maybe we'll get him like really drunk at one of the shows we get to and be like, hey, this would be a great idea. Or like we'll pay the tattoo artist, but he's got your a hundred bucks. Like don't tell him.
Speaker 2:Just a tire back piece, just one giant, one giant dick, one big back shot. All right, well, let's keep going. We're going to go down this deep hole of dicks here.
Speaker 1:So let's keep moving. So, yeah, as you'll start to gather, christian bears the brunt of just about everything. This is my life. These are the people I've chosen to be friends with. So we again.
Speaker 1:This is a pre-dick story. Um, it was, we had this, this one little public spot in california that it was it. It always had ducks on it. Um, it was like a middle of the city. You literally had to call to across the sheriff's. The sheriff's office was there, was literally directly across the street. You would call dispatch to let them know you were there.
Speaker 1:Okay, well, it was January and it's, I mean, in Southern California. But, like, as soon as you get away from the coast, like the temperature will, it gets wintertime, it'll severely drop summer. It's stupid. Um, well, is that? It was also actually my kid's first duck hunt. She went on her first duck hunt. She was like two and a half just, oh, wow, she just loves it.
Speaker 1:Um, and so christian shoots this bird and like, one side of the pond where we hunt is shallow enough to where you can, you can wade through it. The other side, where he shot this bird, is like over your head deep. Um, well, I'm, we're looking at it. I'm like dude, that seriously looks like a sea duck, that looks like a skoder and which isn't necessarily super far-fetched, because the refuge just down the road the week before had killed one. And I'm like dude, I'm serious, that looks like one. And so he we're like we get as close as we can on the bank to to this thing and it's probably a good 40, 50 yards, probably 50 yards out there. And he's like dude, I, dude, I'm going to strip down to my underwear and I'm going to swim out there. I said all right, like, go for it. I hadn't told him that the year before I had done something similar. It was so cold that it was like that's not going to happen yeah.
Speaker 1:So he strips down and starts to swim out there in this frigging frigid water and he makes it like probably to like at least halfway, and then decides that he's had enough. Yeah, and I was like dude. I was like dude, like you got to go for it. I'm kind of like egging him on now Like I know how cold that water is, them on now like I know how cold that water is and uh, so then he goes all right. Well, then he decides to find he finds this um couch cushion, which I'm sure is you know like in the middle of the water, he just found this.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'm sure I'm sure it had recently been sanitized, it was completely clean. Yeah, um, there's no homeless people that lived around there at all, and but he's going for it. So he makes it, even, you know, make it 20 yards and then decides he ditches, that turns around, is coming back and he is. He is coming out of the water and is like falling over and I could just see pure, just just dread on his face of like what the hell did I get myself into? So I'm bent over crying, laughing. I'm able to snap a couple pics of just like the nasty water coming off of his face and just the like it was terrible.
Speaker 1:So I was like, alright, hey guys, I gotta leave. I was like I gotta get my kid home. They've got a buddy that lives not far away that he's got, they're gonna go get a fishing pole and they're gonna, they're gonna get this thing. Well, they call me like an hour later. I'm like, dude, we got it. I said, oh cool, what was it? It was a common berganser, just an absolute trash bird. And I was like, sorry, dude, I really thought it was something cool.
Speaker 1:And you just got this terrible thing and I'm like dude, don't even try to eat it. He goes yeah, like I opened it up and it just was smell. Smelled like straight fish. It's like I was like so all of that just to get a bird you can't do anything with. So it it was. That was. That was great for him.
Speaker 2:That's funny man. I've had a bunch of guys on and like even big duck hunters. Most of them are like yeah, most duck hunting stories are just duck hunting stories. It's kind of like a fishing story. But whenever you do have a duck hunting story it always involves someone getting naked and really cold, like every single time, and they're always funny man.
Speaker 1:I getting naked and really cold, like every single time. And they're always funny man, I think that's the only one word that I can think of where someone was stripping clothes, um, we didn't have another one. Where we were, it was cold out, um, and we were, we were attempting to sleep, so I think it was the same trip where he got Christian got really sick. So we got to Brody's house and we went out that evening to go scout and see a tornado of ducks and I was like holy shit. So we're like we're going to go sleep out on the river that night. We're going to go find a spot. So I was like sweet, we got food, we got beers, get out there, make a fire. And I was like this is awesome. And uh, we'd seen a bunch of beavers on the way in, like I mean seriously, it was like we saw like six or seven within a couple hundred yards. It was like this is it was a little weird.
Speaker 1:Um well, apparently this was the spot that they wanted to be. So we pass out and I'm waking up and I can hear the like a beaver tail smack just over and over again. And then we have barges going past us and, um so, apparently the beaver is getting ballsier and ballsier and Christian is between the fire and the river, is between the fire and the river, and it's getting closer and closer to him and he is he's not happy. The beaver's pissed off and I guess he hadn't slept at all at this point. And all of a sudden I just hear if you're about that, I'm about that, and I hear him rack a shell in and I kind of just like roll over. I was like I feel like I'm about to get my bell rung right now.
Speaker 2:Roll over.
Speaker 1:I was like do whatever you got to do, bud, like I don't know what's going on, good luck. And I was like this thing is about to get freaking executed. And I don't know if that was the beaver's final straw, but it took off. So Christian didn't sleep that whole night. That's too funny, man. It was just like oh, it was so great, not for him, but that's the important thing.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no one likes dealing with an angry beaver, I think that's all they're good at.
Speaker 1:Yes, so yeah, it is a constant. I can think of at least one more where he, we both caught hell for it. But we went on this hunt outside of his house in Wilmington, north Carolina, Okay, and we'd never hunted tidal water before, and so we scouted evening before we found a few birds and then got to this spot. It was a big open area off this creek, off the main channel, and it looks ducky. And so we get in there, we get our decoy set and we pull up parallel with the bank and, like his depth finder had said, like all the way up to that point it was like I mean several feet deep, like right off where we were, I was like all right, we were worried about it being too deep, but it was like at the far end of our decoy it it was like you know, 30 yards, 25 yards out, it was like 10 feet. So it was like all right, we're good, like even if the tide drops, like nothing to worry about.
Speaker 2:But we get wrong.
Speaker 1:40 minutes in in the shooting line he goes dude, I think we're on dry land. And I was like, look, look behind us, and sure enough we are. Oh, we are holy shit. So, like because you can still feel the boat rocking a little bit, so you don't it's. You're like all right, whatever, like we're gonna get out, we'll push the thing and we'll move on with our lives again wrong.
Speaker 1:And so we try and push it and like me and christian aren't like necessarily small dudes like I was like we can't, wow, we're not, this thing's not budging, hardly at all. And I was like this is yeah, so we take ever I mean, we're taking guns, extra decoys, cooler out, we take both trolling motor batteries out, and we're still barely not making a dent. And I was like this is bad. It's like 8 o'clock, high tide is at 5. And I was like, dude, this is not where I want to be. And so we start, we keep trying to push. I was like how are we not going anywhere? Well, I get behind the boat and there's like ancient water logs, logs that are underneath that we're pushing. Like there's like two little parts that are sticking up that we can't. Can't push through.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:So I pull a fricking MacGyver and I got a multi-tool in my blind bag and I pull out the like the three inch blade. So I'm under the water, freaking, sawing away at one part and like I get that like off and I'm like, okay, sweet, but I'm like I can't get any more. So I brought a machete to like get some stuff for the blind. So I'm like over there like a maniac hacking into the water to like get rid of those parts of the log and like loosen that up. And I was like, okay, good, and we push. And then it makes a few inches and stops. I'm like, dude, no way. So it turns out we're like digging the back end of the boat into the fluff mud. So we're like now under the like, digging it out. We do this like six or seven times where it's like we dig, we push, we make a few inches, dig, push, and then finally it was like holy shit, we're floating. So we get everything back and like I'm like, get in the freaking boat, I'll start picking decoys and everything else up, get everything in there and pick the decoys up. We're like, all right, we're good, we're getting the hell out of here. And so we start moving.
Speaker 1:We get about 75 yards with the trolling motor and then he goes dude, I think we're stuck. I was like there's nothing out here, what do you mean? And I was like, well, maybe there's a little sandbar, because it's still showing like 10 feet deep. Well, I'm guessing his thing was like reeling through the pluff mud, because it's just a weird material, huh, and I'm guessing he doesn't have like the top depth finder fish finder, whatnot? Top depth finder fish finder, whatnot? So he jumps out and it's like two inches of water and like up to his up, up up to his waist, in mud. And I go, oh, dude, no way. I was like no, this is not happening, no way, we try the motor like that doesn't do anything. And I'm like I, I don't know.
Speaker 1:So then we, for the next two hours we are walking to the front of the boat, getting out, pulling the boat alongside of us to the back end and then pulling ourselves back in, and then repeating this over and over and over. Well, he was like dude, we need to get into deeper water. So you know, naturally you think the middle of it is going to be deeper. Well, again, we are severely mistaken and you can actually start. I'm like, dude, this is we make it. We're making it nowhere almost. Yeah, you can actually start. I'm like dude, this is we make it. We're making it nowhere. Almost you can actually start to see the water as it's receded. You can actually see like the top mud, like top of the mud. We got to go back to direct soil so we take it like a 45 degree angle left and after another I can see where we've been. It's so shallow, the body's literally like kicked up, like it's piled up out of the freaking, yeah, water. And I was like, dude, we're making, we're making headway, we're farther than we were, like the water's actually getting a little deeper, but at the same time I know I a little deeper. At the same time I know I'm losing water because of the freaking time.
Speaker 1:At one point he goes to get up out of the boat. He's pissed. He goes to get out of the boat and is not paying attention. He's got his chair, his seat, in front of him. It's his head on the camera a bit. And I he was like mother, just like as loud as he could and just he's just losing. I thought he's gonna try to rip the freaking seat out of the damn boat, yeah, and I'm trying not to laugh and was like there's nothing I can say at this point. I was like anything I say, it's just going to go, it's not enough, yeah, and I was like I don't need that and I just keep on being like dude, we're good, we're fine, keep on moving, keep on moving, yeah.
Speaker 2:You're like I'll laugh at that later. Right now.
Speaker 1:Yes, and so we're starting to make you know, continue some more, more headway and try the big motor nothing. Try the troll motor, a few minutes later, nothing. And we go another 10 minutes and I was like it's deeper. He tries it, the troll motor, and he is inching us along and then you feel it like again, you're like holy, like we are actually floating yeah and it was like we still thought I was like dude.
Speaker 1:He thought we were still gonna get stuck somewhere. I was like, no, we're good, like we'll get into the creek, it'll be deeper. And finally, like we get back to the boat ramp and we're not even sure that we can get the freaking trailer because it had dropped so far and so like I backed the trailer up as to the absolute last possible inch where it before it just literally just dropped. It was all guys with help on the seat and so, thankfully, like it hadn't been for him, I don't know that we would have had to go to another like a mass way, but it was. It was a den we got. It was like there was no, like hey, like let's go scout. Yeah, it was like dude, we're going home, that's it.
Speaker 1:Like the next morning, like he he lives on like a small river that's tributary to the big river I told him I don't want to just go shoot wood ducks, let's go try and shoot teal or divers or something. The next morning we didn't even take the boat out. We literally walked out his back door and tried to go shoot wood ducks in his backyard. That was unsuccessful. That whole boat was completely covered in mud. After that hunt, we spent a good hour in one of those self-car washes where you take a brush wash to it. Dude, we were smoked. I was hurting for a good week after that, yeah.
Speaker 2:I believe, it. It was rough. That story reminds me of part of as elk hunt. We just went on um and like just it instead of a boat, it's a truck in the snow, in the mountains, and it's like the exact same scenario.
Speaker 2:So if you don't mind, I'll tell you that story yeah, yeah um, because I know I haven't told it on the podcast yet but we went elk hunting. The first day was miserable um, 10 inches of snow getting stuck like backing up, sliding 150 feet at a time just an awful day. Uh, the next day we're like, hey, let's just all stick together. Yesterday sucked, let's just have some fun in the truck and go drive around, glass, see if we can glass up some elk. We go really far north, nothing. We come back to this area. My buddy who's driving is like yeah, we drove all over this area the last couple years, so I know where we're going and so we're all right. Well, yeah, you just take us in here, we'll get up to the top of this mountain. So we're driving in and it's pretty quick. We're realizing that you know he's got a full-size truck.
Speaker 2:This road is not meant for full-size trucks. Let let's start with that, right? So just constant. And it's a relatively brand new truck, nice Dodge Ram, or it's actually just a Ram, and he loves this thing and he's just getting racing stripes down the side everywhere we go.
Speaker 2:And he's in a bad mood to begin with before we even start this stuff. And then we're hitting some dips that I'd be hesitant taking my truck through them if there was no snow. But like you can't turn around, right, this road's so narrow. We're like, well, we just got to push through. And we eventually to this point where my buddy completely shuts down. He's just he's like nope. And we're like, all right, well, hey, how about this? We'll get out, we'll walk ahead. And he's like, refusing to drive. He just got through this pretty gnarly, like 90 degree turn, with a big dip, and we're like, yeah, we're going to, we're going to just walk ahead, we're going to walk until we see how far it is, until we can get a turnaround point. So we walk and we're talking about how he's. He's in a mood which is understandable, right, and we just keep going.
Speaker 2:And we went up walking maybe a mile or so, come back, and we're like, hey, like there are at least two turnarounds. It also opens up where your car won't be getting scratched anymore. But you have to go somewhere. Like you can't just sit here. We got to go forward if we're going to go back.
Speaker 2:So we go forward, we get him to drive up to the second thing, and then we get to this point where it actually opens up and there's no more trees on the side of the road, it's kind of open, it's a big burn on top of this mountain. And we're like, well, you know, we're at this point where it's kind of like the devil you know or the devil you don't. That's the choice you have to make right now, man. So like we can go forward. So we're like, well, what's past it? Like, if we get past this, do we have another one? And there's another spot. And we're like shit. And so he pulls up right to it and we're like you can get through this, but it's your choice. And he's Canadian, but he's not raised in Canada, he grew up in North Carolina. So it's going down the other side, but we don't know what that other side looks like.
Speaker 2:Or we go back through that bullshit that we just went through, that literally caused him to just shut down and stop Right.
Speaker 2:And so he's like, no, we'll go through this.
Speaker 2:And we're like, okay, so what you stuck, don't stop, you got to keep going.
Speaker 2:And then, once you get past to a certain point, I'll tell you when you can stop, and then we'll get ready for the next one. And so he's going, and uh, he's, and I'm like gas, gas, gas, gas, as I'm like standing, you know, 15 feet off in this burn, you know, down timber, just nasty stuff, with 10 inches of snow everywhere, and he makes it right through, but he doesn't listen and he lets off the gas and his back left tire just slides down into this like two foot deep hole and we're just like shit. And we're like, well, what do we do? And we're like, well, I guess we got to fill the hole in and then try and drive out of the hole. Fill the hole in and then try and drive out of the hole. Um, and so that's basically what we do. So now we've got 40 foot long logs and 10 feet of snow and we've got like one of those little little saws that you use to like, you know, cut ribs and stuff so we're cutting logs with this, trying to move logs.
Speaker 2:We're grabbing, we're like kicking snow around trying to find rocks, trying to fill in this hole. He's got sandbags. You throw a sandbag in, it was immediately obliterated by his tires. So now there's just mud, sand, snow and we're just trying to like literally make a ramp so we can go forward enough to get him out of this ditch, because we know we can't go backwards out of the stitch. So we finally get up and we get out and we're like, well, this is completely, completely fucked and we're like we're not going forward, we're going, we're going backwards out of here.
Speaker 2:But now we got to back out and so we basically take these rocks that we filled this hole with um and we build a road, for lack of another term. Right, we're like everything we do we're sliding, so we need to find a way. So we took like four rocks that are maybe, I don't know, 10 inches by 16 inches and we would put one under each side of the downside tire and we'd roll up onto it and then we'd move the extra other one behind it and so like we're talking, moving this car about 20 to 50 yards, something like that, by building a road, one tire at a time, just moving rocks so that we don't slide in. Meanwhile, like there's four of us, so some guys, we have a tow rope on the hitch and we're just pulling up the high side to try not to slip down into the low side, and it's just. It took us five hours to get out of there um yeah, five, five hours of just trying to stay positive.
Speaker 2:And again, this is an hour. That five hours started an hour after my buddy shut down because he was over it right, and so like he, he, he, he. We actually have another friend who's got a lot of experience. He's like I'll drive, I'll handle this. And so we just we get it done. Another car shows up and these boys are like yeah, well, we're like we think we don't need your help, no problem. Um, and they have a much smaller vehicle that, uh, probably better suited for the country we were hanging out in.
Speaker 2:But we do eventually get turned around and we're like, all right, we got to get out of here. And my buddy's like, yeah, I'll drive again his truck. So we're like, cool, and immediately gets us stuck going back the other way, where we're like a log on each side. I'm like, stop, you're ripping a hole in the side of your truck, so we switch drivers, get through that and we're just flooring it out of this place. And the guys that are helping us are stopping at the top of these hills and so we're hanging.
Speaker 2:And so we've got two of us now in the back of the truck in the bed, just trying to get extra weight on the back as we're going up and shooting up these hills. And then the uh, the guys are stopping and so I'm hanging out the window being like, keep going, we can't stop. And so like they're slamming on the gas and they're flying snow everywhere and we're screaming out the windows because we're so excited to be out of this mountain but completely ruined the day, like we got maybe three hours in before. We spent five plus hours getting out of this situation and, man, like you, we went right back to camp and just started cracking beers. We're like, nope, there's no need to scout today, there's no need to glass.
Speaker 2:Today there's no need to do anything. Today we're going back, that's all there is to it. And we're like and my buddy that ended up driving us out, he was driving my other friend's truck and he's like I don't care if his truck comes out of this in one piece or not, we just got to go. If I slow down, we're not making it out of here. And so his car ended up being much worse for the wear after that trip. But yeah, that was just one side note of what was an otherwise miserable elk hunt.
Speaker 1:But yeah, Did you kill anything?
Speaker 2:No, man, I only saw one elk. I ended up also getting really sick my other buddy then I told you about him misfiring on an elk. So like, yes, all the elk we saw. And then again the guy who also part of the reason he shut down, the guy that was driving. He's the same gentleman who came to a rifle hunt, basically without a rifle. So like he was, yeah, it's just just a bunch of follies, man, there's nothing went right on that hunt other than at camp we had a great time laughing, drinking and just having a good time there. But when we were actually out looking for elk, not a thing went right. Man, not a thing.
Speaker 1:That, yeah, I can. I guess I haven't been stuck for quite that many hours, but I get it when it's like you just kind of like I feel like you don't say it out loud, but you're like I can't believe we're in the situation that we're in right now.
Speaker 2:We were real close to calling rescue. We were like I don't know if we can get out, but we did it, man, we did it. It was miserable and we all stayed relatively positive. In fact I would say that, like once, my buddy that was like just shut down on the road. When he got out from behind the wheel he kind of, you know, loosened up and was just like maybe he understood the levity in the situation we were in. Um, but when he was behind the wheel he just was, just, he's done, he couldn't do it yeah, he needed something off off his, uh, off his shoulders.
Speaker 1:Yep to get out of there. Yeah, man.
Speaker 2:But it just reminded me of the struggle of you guys, inch by inch, because we were moving inch by inch, building these roads under these tires and getting stuck on logs and all of this bullshit, and we literally drive a little ways. I'm like nope. Well, the only way we can see through this is by cutting these four logs so that they're not there anymore. So we're just this tiny little saw, just that they're not there anymore. So we're just, you know, just this tiny little saw just trying to rip all these logs out. It was awful, awful, awful, awful.
Speaker 1:But I'm waiting to have like a deer hunting trip where it's like we just actually just freaking like if it was ducks, like just actually can't have them, or if it's a deer hunting trip or an elk or whatever, it's just like I just I swear wives. He's got to think we are real special every time we kill anything.
Speaker 2:We're really and it sucked, and they're like why, do you keep going? Right? I get it, though, man. But Brian you got any other stories for us, brother, or? Uh, I know I've. We've been on here for more time than I asked you for, so it's up to you. I'll listen all night, but I know it's a lot later where you are. Um another idea is we get back on with your buddies, cause I would love to hear what they have to say about all these stories.
Speaker 1:Dude, that would also be great. They would, uh, they would love it, and then uh, the yeah, the banter really gets going, and I'm sure there's some other stuff on there that they can think about that I'm unable to recall at the moment.
Speaker 2:Perfect man. Well then, let's do this. Why don't you tell the people where they can find you and some of the stuff that you guys are up to? Obviously, you've got a business going. Why don't you dive into that a little bit real quick, so the people can know what they're looking for?
Speaker 1:Yeah, so me, christian Brody, officially last year, january of 23, starting a company called Pattern Bros. And what it is, or how it started, was Brody had bought a new gun, new shotgun and a couple different boxes of ammo and tried to pattern it. He called me. It was a piss talk. He was like, dude, these suck, I'm not taking them hunting. So it's kind of like, well, what do you do now that you've shot a couple different shells out of a box where you can't resell it, shells out of a box like well, you can't resell it, like it's either? Gonna sit there and collect dust?
Speaker 2:or or maybe give it to a buddy. Um yeah, they suck here, joy. You're like, what do you like, what do you want to do?
Speaker 1:um, yeah. So it was like well, what if we put more than one kind of shell in a single box, you know? And and he was raised up, I was like, is there anything like that? He goes no, I've never heard it. We started talking about it. We talked about it for his family the next day. I was like, dude, it's on, let's do this. We kind of started the process. That was probably.
Speaker 2:Octoberober 22.
Speaker 1:Um, and it was we started to to get some traction. It was like understand, like you know what we could do. Uh, started talking with some other companies and it was like, I think, I think we've got a potential really cool thing going. So we started DinoPros and so what we came up with for Waterfall is eight different shells with three of each in a single box. So you get 24 shells in a box, a bunch of different shells, and actually find the best shell for your, your setup that you can. With the amount of different gun choke shell combinations that are out there nowadays, it's really daunting and you don't. You, you have no clue what is actually going to work best for your setup until you actually pull the trigger.
Speaker 2:Interesting Okay.
Speaker 1:So I'm part of a million different Facebook groups now and you'll see the question, this is the question that I look for what is the best shell, you know, gun combination for you know, for this setup or whatever it is?
Speaker 1:And so then you'll see, seriously, 20, 20 different answers, 30 different answers of oh you know this shell, this, this shell this, you know this gun, this choke, all like all of these things. And it's like, well, damn, like, how do you actually know? Until you actually go try it out. Well, if you go try it out, it sucks. And then you're just kind of like, well, what am I going to do? So we have created something to allow people to try a bunch of different things all at one time very easily. That's awesome. That is going to make you immediately a more effective hunter, because you actually have something that is tuned, instead of just saying what the hell with it and shoot whatever you're doing. Yeah, Okay. So today I took my wife's cousins. He loves a duck hunt, but he doesn't have a gun. Duck up and know that it was gone.
Speaker 1:So I brought it for one of our boxes and we got it and it was a really eye-opening experience for him, because as soon as you put stuff on paper, you're actually getting to see what's actually happened. And he was like, holy shit, this is. I always thought those shells were great. And you look at it and you're like, nope, those are terrible. And then you look at it and you're like, no, those are terrible. Like literally the one shell that he thought was like I always loved those. And then he looked at it and you're like, well, do you love those just because you had had to kill some birds with those before, and like that's what you could get? But you know, you're like people are well, that works for me. I'm like, well, just because you shoot three times and sometimes a bird happens to drop, doesn't necessarily mean that works for you. That's just you're shooting hundreds of bb's at a bird.
Speaker 2:Eventually something blind squirrel finds a nut right, exactly, um, yeah, let me ask you this. So I'm going to expose myself a little bit here, and I not that I'm trying to claim I'm some big bird hunter, shotgun hunter. I don't have much experience. I've only been duck hunting twice, took myself both times, shot two divers. I'm super, super happy. I only retrieved one of them, but I almost drowned trying to get them, so very happy I got the one that I did hit, and I also have been. I've shot one turkey with my shotgun and so I got my shotgun. It was a gift passed down from my father-in-law.
Speaker 2:I heard you need to pattern. It, went to the range, shot some shells and was like okay, I'm patterned. I have no idea what I'm doing, right, and I still don't know what I'm doing because I've picked up archery so much recently that I'm like well, no, I'll worry about that stuff when I need to worry about that stuff. So, as a novice and I don't know how many of my listeners are novices or how many are like, oh, I don't need to listen to this part and they're just going to click away. When you're patterning, what are you? What are you doing? What are you looking for? Um, if you don't mind me asking cause, like I really don't know. Not that we usually get into education, but why not? No, I love it.
Speaker 1:So you have eight different shells with three of each in that box, right? So, like today, it was great because I actually got to sit there with him and do it from start to finish. So we actually sell targets as well. So they're, they're full, it's craft paper, 36 inch by 36 inch. Okay, so you get to see your, your full pattern, your all of your beans for the most part, and then we'll see exactly where they're going to be. So you've got an aim point. So we have like a one inch black dot right in the middle of the paper, um, and that's your aim point. And then you shoot. So you, you, you pick your shell, you shoot it one time, go down there, you pull it next shell, and so you do that eight times the the.
Speaker 1:We typically do it at 20, 30 and 40 yards to to see what it's doing at that distance and you will truly see different. Like for a duck hunter, 20 yards is like you get them at 20 yards, like you should kill those birds, like most of the time. You will really see differences from shell to shell, even at 20 yards, which most people consider an absolute chip shot, and then, when you start to get to 30 and 40 yards things really open up like there were some shells that were decent at 20 and then, like when we got to 30 yards, which is still, you should still have a fairly high hit percentage at 30 yards the patterns like will fall apart where it's like dude, like you're not, you don't have a bb within you know three or four inches of in any direction of of your aim point okay so you're like if that was where you were, if that's where that bird was, you're not hit, yeah.
Speaker 1:And so it's like so many people are like, well, I don't know, it shoots BBs and that's what it is and that's what's going to happen. And it's like, well, yeah, it does shoot BBs, but there's so much more to it than just that Got it. Once you start seeing what happened, like what, what is actually happening in as close to real time as you can get with high speed cameras it is like damn, like it was a really cool experience, because I got to be there with him, you know doing it, and it was like he was like golly, like I thought that was great, or like wow, like that was that was a, that greater, like wow, like that was that was a, that was a really good shot. And so it's cool because so afterwards we go, we go back up to the, the barn and lay them out on the table and you're really kind of looking at them, because you obviously got to write hey, what shell this was, at what distance, and so it's like all right.
Speaker 1:So you break it down. You're like, hey, at 20 yards, these are, these are my best few, all right, all right, well, let's look at them when we get to 30. And then you're like all right, well, those two are just okay, and these are your best two. And then you're like well, this pattern is really tight, but if you're hunting in really close, like shooting wood ducks at 15 yards, if your pattern is too tight, now it's more like your margin of error is so much smaller, kind of shooting with a rifle.
Speaker 1:Exactly. Yeah, you're like shooting slugs. So it's like you're either going to potentially just whiff, or you may just freaking obliterate that bird Got it. Potentially just whiff, or you may just fricking obliterate that bird Got it. So a lot of it is, you know, some of it's me personal preference, like hey, I like it a little bit more open, or like I want that shit tight Okay.
Speaker 1:So it was a cool experience today to actually go do that with him. And then we did. It took the same concept for for Turkey, so we did five different shells with one of each in a box.
Speaker 1:Turkey shells are quite a bit more expensive, but for turkeys we did 12, 20, and 410. Our 28 gauge box will be coming out this spring. Our 28-gauge box will be coming out this spring, and then right now for waterfowl it's 12 and 20, with 28 coming out next fall. Got it, man? That's cool. It makes a ton of sense.
Speaker 2:When I went and did it with my shotgun, I only took one box with me and I was like, okay, yeah, no, I mean I've got a couple BBs where I think I'm aiming, I think I know what I'm doing. Didn't apparently? But yeah, it would be great to have multiple boxes of ammo or multiple rounds to do that with. That makes a ton of sense, even from a novice like myself that doesn't have the experience that you guys do. So that's cool, man. It's cool that you guys jumped into that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, dude, it's honestly been a blast so far. And like people are seriously like, well, damn, why didn't I think of that? They're like, ah, we talked about it before. I'm like, yeah, we had three Marines who aren't super smart, who just like to shoot stuff, and that was kind of that. So there isn't anybody else out there doing it. We've got a chance to do some shows now. We did the Delta Waterfowl uh expo back in july, um, which was phenomenal, and then we just did the show up in a couple weeks ago cool. So it is, uh, it is getting. It is getting bigger and bigger and we're really starting to make for ourselves a little bit, which has been it's been really it's been a lot of fun. We've had nothing but super positive interactions and feedback and then just met a ton of really cool people. Yeah, it's been the whole process. It's been a lot more work and it was kind of like, oh, screw it, dude, we'll just put it in the box and people buy that shit.
Speaker 1:And it was like, well, yeah, there's a little bit more to it than that, yeah we gotta like make a box, make our own box, and then then there's regulations and licenses and all kinds of crap, but the ammo companies. We have relationships with the ammo companies, so they love it and yeah, nothing but positive feedback. And now if I go on a hunting trip, it that shit's a tax write off.
Speaker 2:Oh, hell yeah.
Speaker 1:Legitimately. It's like I'm like, well, like you know, if we take pictures or do anything like that, like it is, it is work related.
Speaker 2:Yeah so.
Speaker 1:I was like my wife's, like yeah. Like when I went to Arkansas back in January, I was like this is a work relationship because we're partnered with those podcasts and become good buddies with those guys. He goes, yeah, no, absolutely I get it. I was like holy shit, this is awesome.
Speaker 2:That's awesome. I've toyed around with the idea of tax expenses and things like that, but my tax person was like, well, there's a thin line between this being a job and a hobby. So where would you put it? I'm like, all right, it's a hobby, probably. So I haven't gotten there yet, but someday, someday it'll be Go ahead.
Speaker 1:You just got to keep working on it.
Speaker 2:Maybe Trump will get rid of the IRS. Maybe man, maybe. Well, ryan, where can the folks find Pattern Pros?
Speaker 1:Yeah, so the website is patternprosusacom, instagram is just pattern pros and then uh, facebook is pattern pros usa, so we're all all three of us are on uh on the socials. We have access to it, so we can we respond real quick. My phone number is actually at the bottom if you scroll all the way down the website.
Speaker 2:My my number's on there, which isn't something they told me when they created the website, yeah, right next to a bunch of dicks too, probably.
Speaker 1:Yeah so. I started getting phone calls and I was like how the hell do these people have my number? Oh, that's good, and then one day I just scrolled to the bottom. I'm like, oh, thanks guys.
Speaker 2:There it is, I mean it's great.
Speaker 1:I I mean it's great. I'll talk to people.
Speaker 2:Perfect man, perfect. Well, ryan, man, this was a lot of fun. I will put links to all that stuff in the show notes, so if anybody wants to find the easy route, just check that out. And, man, I'm excited to see where Pattern Pros goes. It's a great idea, even as someone who, like you, know those are some stories I won't forget. Can't wait to get you and your buddies back on Awesome. Thanks dude, thanks brother. All right, guys. That's it. Another couple stories in the books Again. I had a great time listening to Ryan. I can't wait to have him and the boys at Pattern Pros on the podcast. I guess give a little bit of truth to what Ryan was saying. You never know how true these stories are when buddies are telling them about one another.
Speaker 2:So, Ryan, thank you so much for coming on. I really do appreciate it To you listeners. Thank you guys for tuning in. I really do appreciate it. It wasn't overly explicit, but I want to make sure that I'm mentioning it for the kids that are tuning into the podcast. Thank you guys again, make sure you share the podcast with at least one person. Give us a review, give us a follow. Now get out there and make some stories of your own. Thank you.
